Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Truthful Tuesday: It Hit Me

The other week when I was doing laundry I gathered up all of our clothes, sorted them, brought them down to the laundry room, started a load, and then walked back upstairs.  

When I went back in our room I saw this pile next to the laundry basket. I couldn't help but groan and think to myself..."Ugh dirty flight suits...another load of dirty flight suits." I don't know what it is about washing these that I don't like but it's one of my least favorite things to do. And that's when it hit me.  Pretty soon there will be no dirty flight suits for me to wash. Pretty soon he'll be putting on that horrible tan flight suit, stepping onto a plane, kissing us goodbye, and leaving us for months. Usually when a deployment is looming I dwell on it and get sad weeks, sometimes months in advance.  This time I think I've been too busy to really think about it and this was the first time I honestly got sad about it.  We are so, so blessed that this is only going to be a short deployment but it's a separation, nonetheless, and it's still going to be hard on our little family. It'll be more missed birthdays, missed family dinners, missed holidays, and more missed special small moments.  When I thought of this deployment coming, more things hit me.

Pretty soon I'm going to have to explain to my little guy why Daddy is gone and where he went. He was 2  last deployment and I guarantee he doesn't remember what it's like. He understands so much more now and playing with Daddy is pretty much the best thing ever to this little man. Brian was only gone for a couple days a couple weekends ago and Brady probably asked about a hundred times where Daddy was. This deployment is going to be hard for him but I'm trying my best to prepare him (books, dvds, talks about it) and I'm determined to make this time for him fun.  These military children are resilient and strong.

Pretty soon I'm going to have to teach Layla to have conversations with her Daddy through the internet. Poor little lady was only 3 months old last deployment so I know for a fact she doesn't remember. When Brady was this age and Brian left, I could tell that Brady was sad but he didn't have the words to vocalize it. I can only hope that for her spending time with Mommy, Brady, friends, and family and those special conversations with Daddy over Skype will make it all alright. Nothing is worse than seeing your children hurting.

But a couple of other things also hit me. We are going to be fine. I'm stronger than ever. Our marriage is stronger than ever. This is deployment number 4 for us and I kinda somewhat know the drill. Kids will get sick, things will break, the internet connection will suck, but we will make it.  I have a great support system here and our family is only 6 hours away.  We will make it through this and if all works out correctly, I will have the best Christmas present ever: our family all together.


Janelle Vannice said...

This post is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry he's deploying soon, but I know you guys will be just fine! I'm thinking of you!

Jenn said...

:( I wish there was a way around it! :( Didn't you ask me about the giant Steve sticker I had? Did I ever tell you where I got it? (Paper Coterie) And a good board book about deployment is "Over There." There's even a spot to put Daddy's picture.

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Ugh, I swear the dirty uniforms get us all. Who would have ever thought missing doing the laundry would trigger such emotion. I hope the time passes quickly!

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