Saturday, February 8, 2014

A Long, Long Week

Ever have one of those weeks? Well for whatever reason my number was up this week. And I'm not proud of the way I responded.

This week I lost my patience. With my kids. The dog. And the Air Force.

This week I yelled. At my kids. At the dog. I yelled.

This week I hid in my room more times than I want to count. Not because we were playing a game but because I needed a minute to myself without someone needing something, whining, or crying in my ear.

This week I cried. Not only by myself but in front of my children, but over Skype with my poor husband who wants nothing more than to be home.

I wasn't my best self and for that I'm not proud of.

See, although I like to keep things lighthearted on here I am at the point where I can admit when I was wrong, when I didn't do my best.

This week Brian was gone. He's only gone for a week but things were a little crazy. Layla was sick.  I pulled something in my back and was barely mobile for a couple of days. We had a snow day and were trapped inside. We were extra, extra crabby for some reason and were testing my patience at every hour, every minute of every day this week. I kept telling myself just make it through the next couple days and then he'll be home.

And then his jet broke down (of course) and he gets "stuck" in Greece. And sends me a picture of his surroundings.

This was his view. Rough.

And this was my view. Not sure what's worse. Layla crying her head off or Caillou on tv.

And then the jet gets fixed but they have to stay in England a couple extra days. So he gets to go sight-seeing in Scotland. To which I couldn't help but think that I sure get the short end of this stick.   

Or maybe not. I mean, what's more fun than cleaning up spilled milk? 

Sometimes I have to take a step back and cut myself some slack. Military life is hard. Life with small children isn't always easy. I solo parent more than I wish to. We're away from family and this life is stressful. 

I got a break today for an hour to get some errands run and I had some time to reflect, regroup, and refresh.  Not all weeks can be perfect and although I didn't act the way I should have this week, I know that tomorrow is a new day, the start of a new week, and I can and will do better. 

Because these sweet angels,
(most of the time)

They deserve it.


Jenn said...

Omg girl. I can't say I wouldn't respond the same way. Wait Actually I have. Two weeks ago. Steve said he's going to the field for three weeks and they get to sleep in barracks and I was all, "HAVE FUN ON YOUR VACATION, LOSER!" A bit grumpy, I was. But! It's a new week, and while I'd still prefer to go sleep in the barracks out in the woods somewhere than listen to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Don't Touch Me Myer bicker with each other, I will do my best to make it through with the kids here on the homefront. I'm predicting McDonalds trips and lots of pizza. Food- it's how I cope. ;)

Jen said...

Oh girly!!!! You are so tough, I give you a lot of credit for dealing with all of that. Sending lots of hugs your way!!!

wanderlynn said...

A big hug to you! I have DEFINITELY had those weeks. (This week kind of, guess who was catching your husband's jet?) They suck. And then for your husband to go galavanting around Greece and Scotland while you're drained (and hurting – I pulled my back during the last deployment and it was THE WORST)... you are not the first person to totally resent that he's off having a good time while your hellish week just keeeeeeps lasting. I find it next to impossible to feel bad for my husband in times like that, no matter how much he would like to be home.

So, this is me saying I get it. I'm glad you got a little time to yourself. And I'm glad you're feeling refreshed and ready to put that week behind you. Here's another hug! He'll be home soon!

Janelle Vannice said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a rough week! I commend you, though, for posting about this. As a pilot spouse-to-be, I appreciate the raw honesty in your post. I have already struggled with jealousy when Dan has gone on some pretty cool trips - like England for OPS when the Olympics were going on (and on my 25th birthday) - oh boy was I angry!

Kristin said...

Aside from the small children part, I understand this very well!
I hope things are looking up.
Also I just read your About Me. WE are going to Co Springs also this summer. Ft. Carson.

Becky Dougherty said...

I think everyone has weeks like that sometimes. And I know that most of the time we don't respond or handle it like we should! The good news is that today is a new day, and that your kids know you love them even if you did yell. They still know! Here's to a better week! :)

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Hang in there! Sometimes you need to let it out. I hope your husband makes it home soon!

The Chick Nest said...

I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you out last week... :( I need to read your blog more often dear friend! Know we all have moments like this when we lose our cool! Which I have been doing more of lately, too. I think we are over-do for a wine-venting session, lol! Seriously, where is spring? This cold winter is driving me bonkers! We just need some park time to run and play! The timing was terrible on all accounts last week and that just sucks! Hope you are enjoying your date night tonight and last week is behind you. HUGS!!!

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